Make me laugh

If I wrote an article like Ravi Shastri writes his commentary scripts, I’d be sued for plagiarism. Why? Sample these gems from the Shastri factory:

• The ball is gone like a tracer bullet – And so goes the good old art of inventive commentary.

• That takes the aerial route – It’s time for you to follow.

• And the news from the center is… – That Ravi Shastri the Commentator is past his sell-by date.

• In the end cricket was the winner – Poignant! That could make Ultron cry.

• He’s thrown the kitchen sink at it – And we have thrown in the towel. Quit. Now.

• At this stage all three results are possible – Oh.. … Ohhhh my goodness me! You Einstein, the lesser us could not see that coming.

•  He’s dealing in boundaries here – And we are counting just how many times you have used exactly the same words, in exactly the same order.

• Edged…and taken – Yeah, return to pavilion. You.

• The finger has gone up – Now you go up, up, and away.
• No half-measures here
• He’s no mug with the bat
• This will go down to the wire
• Will do his confidence a world of good
• The odd ball will keep low
• That would really set the cat among the pigeons
• That’s sweetly timed
• It’s funny how in T20 cricket one over can change the game
• The atmosphere is electrifying
• That’s just what the doctor ordered
• He’s flashed and flashed hard – I’m not even gonna start with how infested with sexual innuendo this line is.