Even between true soulmates, being in love is never easy. There are a lot of vulnerable, scary feelings involved; fighting with your partner can feel like the end of the world, and there are generally many decisions and complex compromises that must be made. Love is beautiful, but the aspects that occur alongside it can really hurt.
With how hard romantic relationships can be, it’s no surprise that divorces are incredibly common. Even in the UK where the divorce rate is declining, the dissolution of marriages occurs far too often in modern times.
If you’re finding yourself in a difficult marriage, the following information will help you decide if your marriage is worth saving or not.
Here are some signs that your marriage is worth saving:
1. The love is mutual.
Love isn’t the only reason to stay in a relationship, but it’s a big one. Quite frankly, love is a requirement for any relationship. That being said, if feelings are felt on both sides still, this is a good sign that the marriage is still repairable.
2. There was unfaithfulness, but both wish to work to resolve it.
Nobody is perfect. Although nobody should defend cheating or dishonesty, it does happen and more often than we realize. If the unfaithful partner feels guilty about their actions and is ready to work on the marriage, there might still be hope. However, the trust will have to slowly be built back up over time.
3. You and your partner respect one another.
Signs of respect include giving the other partner a right to privacy, lending them a helping hand, properly splitting household duties, and listening and not interrupting them when they’re speaking.
4. The happiness overrides the pain in the relationship.
Do you still feel warm and bubbly inside your partner? Do you have more good days than bad days? Do you have more romantic moments together than arguments? Consider working on the relationship.
5. You lost touch with one another but both still crave one another.
We all lose that spark every now and then. This can happen if you spend too much time with your partner if the routine has been bland, if conversations have gotten stale, or if you haven’t been going on dates like you usually do. Spice things up!
And here are some signs that it might be time to end the relationship:
1. The love is no longer or never was, mutual.
Did your husband or wife recently reveal to you that they stopped loving you years ago? Or, maybe they admitted that they never loved you, only saw you as a friend, or love somebody else? In these scenarios, saying goodbye might be best for both partners.
2. A partner cheated, feels zero remorse, and doesn’t wish to do anything about it.
In this case, the unfaithful partner has been long done with your marriage. At this point, their emotions are shallow, their selfishness is high, they’ve lost all respect, and everything they do that hurts you is to help give them an ego boost or give them something that they’ve lacked in the marriage. In fact, infidelity is one of the top reasons for a divorce in the UK.
3. There’s a lack of respect in the relationship.
Lack of respect can be resolved in a marriage, but it’s a tough issue. Lack of respect can involve holding strict control over the other partner, refusing to listen to them, constantly going behind their back, or abusing them mentally or physically.
4. It’s rare for you to feel happy in your marriage.
If you and/or your partner have been feeling unhappy almost consistently for several months or even years, the marriage may be too far gone. It’s possible that the only way to be happy again is to dissolve the marriage.
5. The spark is gone, you’ve tried to get it back, and nothing is working.
So, you’re feeling like the spark has been gone for a long time. You tried new moves in the bedroom, you went on a handful of dates, and you made some other changes in the relationship, but you and/or your partner still feel nothing for one another? Maybe that love is gone, and it might not be back.
It’s tough to end a relationship with someone you love. It’s also difficult to work to resolve a broken marriage. But what’s even harder is understanding whether it’s best for you to move on or stay. Hopefully the latter signs will make it clearer to you if your marriage is worth saving. Remember: love will never be easy, but true love is worth it in the end.