Asking someone out for the first time can feel completely terrifying. We might worry that they will say no, be offended, or even laugh in our faces. Luckily, most of the time, our perception of what could happen when we ask someone out is skewed towards the negative. Most people are tactful enough to reject you politely even if they do turn you down. Besides, they might say yes!
Knowing this doesn’t always make it easier, however, and getting up the courage to ask a woman on a date can take some time and preparation. You want to make a good impression and pick the right circumstances to ask her out. Our article walks you through some reasons why you should ask her out and the best ways to do it. So, whether you’ve already got someone in mind, or you’re still searching on the best online dating sites you can find, this ones for you!
How to Feel Less Nervous When Asking a Woman Out?
So, you’ve met the (potential) woman of your dreams and you’re dying to go on a date with her. Before we dive into the best ways to ask her out, let’s talk a little bit about mindset. Why is approaching someone for a date so scary? One word – rejection! Everybody fears it and everybody wants to avoid it.
Learning to cope with rejection or putting yourself in a position where you could be rejected, are important life skills, however.
With that in mind, try not to build up asking someone out too much in your head. Remember, there are tons of women out there you may be compatible with. If one turns you down, it’s just a sign that this was not a good fit.
Romantic rejection is not necessarily a reflection on you or your desirability.Instead of obsessing about how crushed you’ll be if she says no, try to think positive and hope for the best. Don’t pin all your future hopes and happiness on this one moment or one person.
If you let fear deter you, you could miss out on amazing opportunities. Besides, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Believe us, you’ll regret missing your shot far more than if you try and failed.
How to Ask Her Out Like a Gentleman?
Once you’ve made up your mind to ask her out, you’ll want to make the best impression possible. There are a ton of great ways to ask her out on a date and you should feel free to get creative.
Remember, however, that you want to put her at ease and make her feel comfortable with you. Here’s 5 tips you can use if you hope to ask her out and get a yes:
1. Keep It Casual
You want to come across like a gentleman. In your mind, the idea of a gentleman may conjure images of heart, flowers, and romantic gestures.
Despite what the movies tell us, however, women can be put off by too much, too soon. After all, if you’ve only met a few times in person or interacted a bit online, she doesn’t know you. Showering her with elaborate praise or offering flowers and presents before she’s even said yes may seem strange to her.
This is also a big no-no if you’re wondering how to ask her out without looking desperate.
Instead, keep things light and casual. You can do this while still making it clear to her how keen you are to go on a date. Women love men who make them laugh so try to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.
You can even have a laugh with her about how nervous you are to ask her out, then suggest a coffee shop or restaurant you’d like to try with her.If she feels like she can have fun with you, she’s more likely to say yes.
2. Read Her Mood
Say you’ve been meaning to ask your crush out for a while and you unexpectedly run into her on the street. She’s harassed and clearly rushing and seems to be generally having a bad day.
She stops to chat with you, but she’s obviously stressed and distracted. Should you ask her out or wait for a better time?
While it’s tempting to seize your opportunity if everything feels off you should definitely wait. Again, whether she says yes or no may not have much to do with you.
She may be open to the idea of dating you, but a mistimed approach might make her feel that you are insensitive or not socially aware. Instead, be friendly if she stops to chat and then find another, more suitable time to ask her out.
3. Get Chatting First
Sometimes you may only have a passing acquaintance with someone and still want to ask them out. Perhaps you see the same woman on your commute or at the local coffee shop most days and you find her attractive. An abrupt approach may fall flat, however.
Instead, try striking up a conversation and chatting with her for a while before you ask her out. If you know you are likely to run into her again, you can establish a rapport over several meetings.
This gives you both the chance to see if there are sparks before you take her on an actual date. If things are going smoothly and you feel a connection, go for it – ask her out.
4. Send a Flirty Message
The idea that you always need to ask people out in person is so 2004. With so many online dating sites and hook up apps available these days, many people meet their potential partners online.
Wondering how to ask her out online without getting lost in a sea of Tinder messages?
Make yourself stand out from the crowd by building a connection first. You’re not on a time limit and many women on dating apps will really appreciate a man who asks them questions.
If it’s going well and you both seem to be having fun, a casual, flirty message can be a great way to suggest a date.If you have her phone number, you could also think of ways to ask her out over text as this keeps things casual and low-pressure.
5. Accept That She Might Say No
Wondering how to ask her out without getting rejected? Well, the truth is, there are no sure-fire ways to do this. She is free to turn you down if she wants to. The only thing you have under your control is how you respond to this.
First step – ask her out and treat her with respect if she says no. Even if you feel annoyed or let down, don’t blame these feelings on her and definitely don’t have an outburst.
You can acknowledge you are disappointed if you want to let her know, but only do so once and do it politely and without making your feelings her responsibility.
A common question is can you ask her out again after she has turned you down once? A good guide for this is how your relationship changes after you have asked her out once.
If she still wants to keep in touch and you continue to have a good relationship, it might be worth waiting a while and trying again. Be careful with this, however, as she may get annoyed or feel pestered if she has to explain herself again and again.
Ask Her Out or Stay Friends?
Sometimes you realize the person you really want to ask out has been right in front of you the whole time. It’s pretty common in friendships for men to start to fall for their female friends, especially if both parties are single.
Asking out a friend, however, can be difficult territory and has more potential consequences than asking out a stranger. There’s the chance that the friendship won’t recover if she turns you down or you date and things don’t work out.
So, what gives? Should you ask her out or not? Think very carefully about your true feelings before you risk a friendship. Is dating her really that important to you?
Do you think your relationship has a realistic chance of succeeding, or is it more like a fantasy? The reason you want to think clearly about this is that you are potentially risking the friendship to ask her out.
Sometimes this is absolutely worth the risk, but make sure you understand the hazards fully before you take the plunge.
When to Ask Her Out on a Second Date?
How long should you leave it between dates? So, you went out and had a great time. Now you want to go out again, but you don’t want to seem overeager.
The truth is women care less about this than you think. Sure, you don’t want to bombard her with messages – you need to look like you have a life – but there’s no need for mind games.
If you like her let her know and tell her you’d like to ask her out again. She’ll appreciate your candor and you’ll make a good impression.
Although asking people out doesn’t really get easier over time, we hope these tips help you. While it can feel like a big risk to ask out someone new (or someone you know) it’s often worth the risk of heartache. So, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and ask her out today!
Final Call: Have you ever asked out a stranger or asked someone out online? How about dating a friend? What’s the best experience you’ve had asking somebody out? Tell us about it in the comments!