We are so accustomed to a daily dose of part inspiration, part rubbish Shakespearean quotes – once in a while through books and almost daily through internet – that we hardly bat an eyelid even when we come across something extraordinarily good . They hardly cover a grey area and when you stumble upon two ‘beautiful’ quotes in total contradiction to each other, I wager you either laugh or you just stop giving a damn. So here are some contradicting “inspirational” quotes and phrases you have been listening to since you were in diapers:
> Variety is the spice of life.
Contradiction: There is nothing new under the sun.
Me: Raise a toast to the man who said the first one. Holy Cow! The second one was bang on!
> The best things in life are free.
Contradiction: You get what you pay for.
Me: Word of Caution – Never trust the quotes on money.
> Everything comes to him who waits.
Contradiction: He who hesitates is lost
Me: They both define drag-ass
> The more, the merrier.
Contradiction: Two’s company; three’s a crowd.
Me: Well, that depends. Foursome with 3 babes is merry-time. Just a threesome with another guy – I can’t breathe. Hell, I can’t do!
> What will be, will be.
Contradiction: Life is what you make it.
Me: For god’s sake, tell us; Should we, shouldn’t we, or what!?
> With age comes wisdom.
Contradiction: Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings.
Me: I go with the first one. Babes don’t say wise things, they only make them sound so.
> The bigger, the better.
Contradiction: The best things come in small packages.
Me: Oh, there they are just confused – between pain, ecstasy and well… a little tingle!
> Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Contradiction: Out of sight, out of mind
Me: Wife’s absence can never make the heart grow fonder – maybe just a little happier. But even if she is out of sight, she will stay in your psyche, and will depart never. NEVER.
> It never rains, than it pours.
Contradiction: Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
Me: Planet earth, swallow me!
All said and done, some quotes actually make a good read. Rest justmake you run for your sick bag