When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, finding time to have sex doesn’t seem like a priority. If you’re in a rut and are trying to find ways to improve your sex life with your partner or someone you met on dating sites, you’re in luck.
Treating sexual problems is easier now, thanks to professional sex therapists and revolutionary medications. But there’s a lot you can do for a better sex life at home. Here are some tips for better sex every day.
1. Talk About It with Your Partner
Talking about sex can be difficult in normal circumstances, but it gets harder when you’re having sexual problems. Feelings of shame, resentment, hurt, and guilt make broaching the subject challenging. But for you to have better sex for a lifetime with your partner, you need to open up and address your sexual problems.
Great communication will help you create a closer emotional bond, have a healthy relationship, and better sex with your wife or husband. Here are some ideas to make this conversation smooth.
• Find the right time: Telling your partner what you like when having sex is appropriate, but if you want to discuss serious issues like orgasm problems or erectile dysfunction, it’s better to do that outside of the bedroom. Confronting your partner about your mismatched sexual desires mid-sex will not only kill the mood but make them insecure and feel hurt. So find a neutral setting where sex isn’t involved and talk about your problems.
• Be specific: It’s not enough to say ‘go slower’ when you’re trying new things. Try to be more specific and tell them where you want to be touched, how you want to be touched, and show them how you’d like to be touched. This clearly communicates exactly how you want something, and chances are your partner will gladly do anything that makes you excited. When you become specific, it encourages him to do the same, allowing you to have better sex as a married couple.
Open up and be honest: Being open and vulnerable is difficult, but it improves your relationship both emotionally and intimately. By failing to talk about your sexual problems and pretending that everything is okay, you’re setting up your relationship for failure. Don’t fake an orgasm or hide changes in your body that are affecting your sex life. If you’re experiencing low libido, it’s better to tell your partner about it, instead of leaving them guessing whether your lack of interest is because you no longer find them attractive.
• Don’t criticize: Sometimes, due to sexual frustration, you may find yourself assigning blame for your sexual problems. This will only worsen the situation since the criticized partner will feel stressed, hurt, and isolated. If there’s a problem, approach it as a unit. Don’t overly focus on the negatives, but build on the positives. Find ways to compliment your partner and cultivate gratitude by thanking them for the little things he does for you. This will make them feel valued and appreciated.
We understand that after a while, sex can get boring but with better sex education and trying new things is a great way to spruce things up in the bedroom. If you have any interests or fantasies that you would like to try, tell your partner about them. Get creative with sexual positions to make sex more interesting. There are many sexual positions and methods for better sex, such as doggy style, to stimulate G-spot.
You can also try having sex outside of the bedroom. The naughtiness of a romp in a secluded area in the woods, watching erotic films, or having sex in the kitchen goes a long way in spicing up your sex life. Just make sure that it’s comfortable and safe.
Incorporating sex toys into your sex life can be exciting. Browsing for sex toys, whether you order them online or pick them up in a store, is a great way for you to bond. Sex toys can help you learn about your sexual response and lets you show your partner how you like to be pleasured.
Be more sensual and set the mood for sex. You can leave love notes, send a frisky text, wear sexy lingerie to build anticipation. Change up your foreplay by trying something new like giving yourselves an oil massage, taking a bubble bath together, or playing fun games. Create a mood that heightens your sensual awareness by playing soft romantic music, lighting candles, or placing flowers in the room. The goal is to create a relaxed and intimate environment.
3. Engage in Regular Sexual Activity
During menopause, the vaginal walls lose their elasticity due to a decrease in estrogen production. Less estrogen also makes your vaginal tissues more fragile, drier, and thinner, and the vagina shorter and narrower. This can make sex uncomfortable and even painful, leading you to avoid sex, further worsening the condition. To make penetration easy and have better sex, use a lubricant.
Vaginal sexual activity is crucial during this period as it can help slow down this process or even completely reverse it. By continuing to have regular vaginal sex through menopause, your vaginal tissues will thicken and remain moist, and the vagina will maintain its width and length, making sex pleasurable. If intercourse isn’t an option, you can masturbate with a vibrator or dildo. You’re also more likely to have better sex during ovulation.
For men, going for long periods without an erection can result in diminished sexual functioning. When the penis doesn’t get enough oxygen-rich blood, scar tissue forms in the muscle cells. This affects the penis’ ability to expand when blood flow is increased, leading to erectile dysfunction. For better sex without Viagra, try to have an erection every day. If you’re having trouble maintaining an erection, you can try having sex without protection since it’s been proven that men are more likely to have better sex without a condom.
4. Do Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercise is another hack for better sex that can help men and women. These exercises target the pelvic floor muscles, which help support your organs such as the bowel, bladder, and urethra. They help promote good bladder control and sexual function. As you age, these muscles become stretched and weakened, negatively impacting your bladder control and sex life.
For men, Kegel strengthens the muscles that support erections and control ejaculation, and improves blood flow to the penis. This prevents and reverses erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation and can make orgasms more intense.
Kegel exercises for women have many benefits to their sexual health. It relaxes your vaginal muscles, which allows your vagina to be more open. So if you have experience pain during sex, these exercises will help you have a more enjoyable sexual experience. Since Kegels improves blood circulation to the pelvic floor and vagina, you’ll see an increase in arousal and vaginal wetness, making it easier for you to reach orgasm.
To do Kegels, make sure your bladder is empty, breathe in deeply, and relax your body. Pretend you’re trying to stop urine midstream and tighten your pelvic floor muscles. Hold it for 3 to 5 seconds, relax the muscles for 3 to 5 seconds, and start again. Repeat this 10 times, 3 times a day. The good thing is, you can do these exercises anywhere, at home, while driving, at work, or on the checkout line.
5. Lead a Healthy Lifestyle
Your overall emotional, mental, and physical health can significantly affect your sex life. To improve your sexual functioning, you need to maintain healthy habits and behaviors.
• Exercise more: Physical activity can help keep your body in shape, as well as improve your sex life. Weight gain can negatively impact your self-image, making it difficult to feel attractive or believe other people find you attractive. By staying active, you’ll be able to feel better about yourself and lose weight in the process. Exercise also strengthens your heart and blood vessels and promotes blood circulation to your pelvic floor, which increases arousal and promotes chances for orgasm. You can have better sex through yoga, walking, swimming, aerobics, and strength training.
• Cut back on alcohol: Heavy drinking can greatly diminish your sexual reflexes and libido since alcohol dulls the central nervous system and acts as a vasoconstrictor, reducing blood flow to your sexual organs. It can also disrupt sleep, and trigger hot flashes in women, compounding the effects of menopause. Heavy consumption of alcohol damages the liver, leading to increased estrogen production in men.
• Smoking can cause peripheral vascular disease, affecting blood flow to the vaginal tissues, penis, and clitoris. It also leads to early-onset menopause for women.
• Watch what you eat: Unhealthy eating can lead to obesity and high blood cholesterol, which puts you at risk of developing cardiovascular diseases. Being overweight can greatly reduce libido.
6. Prioritize Your Sex Life
If you prioritize your sex life, you’re going to pay more attention to it. Things that we prioritize in our lives, be it eating healthy, working out more, tend to get accomplished because we’re mindful of them. Take this approach with your sex life by investing time and effort in your partner. You can decide to go to bed together at the same time three times a week to increase the time you spend intimately together.
You can also schedule a time for sex. Although this might seem awkward, it works. Scheduling sex gives you time to prepare and eliminate any stressors you might have. It eliminates the pressure of finding the perfect time to have sex. In most cases, you find yourself chasing your partner for sex. You want to have sex, but they aren’t in the mood. This puts pressure on your partner and can make you feel frustrated and neglected. But when you have set a specific time for sex, your stress levels will reduce, and you’ll both be in the mood for sex.
It also allows you to stop focusing on sex. Since you know when you’ll have sex, you can focus on your partner. You can spend more time together, just cuddling, kissing, or doing other mundane things. This physical affection reinforces your bond as a couple and builds intimacy.
As you get older, your sexual drive takes a nosedive, making sex feel like a chore and painful, especially after menopause. But this doesn’t mean the end of your sex life. By implementing these tips and tricks for better sex, you’ll be able to restore and improve your sex life and have better sex in your 50s. Do you have better sex ideas you’d like to add? Let us know in the comments.