6 Texting Secrets of Highly Effective Texters

6 Texting Secrets of Highly Effective Texters

There are two types of texters: the good and the bad ones; and it makes all the difference in a relationship. Healthy texting habits are a great way to build a good relationship. They’re the best way to build trust, emotional intimacy, and the chemistry necessary to the growth of the love between two individuals.

Texting is a wonderful way you can use to stay connected as you keep talking to each other. It can help you drive the relationship forward.

But then, you need to understand the best texting habits. Otherwise, it won’t be easy to connect with her.

In this guide, we will be looking at some of the best texting habits effective texters have. Note that there is a big difference between good texting and effective texting.

Good texts produce a certain reaction: 

  • They make her laugh
  • They make her respond shortly

Effective texting, on the other hand, is when you achieve your goals at the end of the conversation. Not only does it deliver the right message, effective texting triggers a yearning from your partner to hear more from you.

If you can write up a good message, you can easily become an effective texter.

In this post we will be looking at what you should text her to obtain the best reaction. We will also find out how to approach texting.

The Good Texter Vs. The Bad Texter

Many people are struggling with effective texting today. They may not even know they have a problem until it hits them that they have been doing something wrong this whole time.

Therefore, while messaging is a great way to stay connected with your loved ones, you should never assume that every message you send will be met with positivity.

Did you know that poor texting habits can cause emotional issues? Well, now you know.

You may have come across this statement: “I waited for a long time for the clock to click.” In texting, it’s more like: “I waited long for my smartphone to blink.”

This statement could be a good summary of the difference between good texting and bad texting. A good texter understands the conversation from the point of view of the other person.

So, let’s quickly discuss the difference between a good and a bad texter before we continue with the six habits.

A good texter sends messages every day whenever necessary. When you wake up in the morning, they will be the first people to wish you a good morning and a good day. A bad one though will take several days to send you a message.

If you are in the middle of a conversation and have to do something else, a good texter will always let you know. A bad texter will leave you hanging as you wait for them to respond.

A good texter feels emotional attachment to his texts. This is why he will ask you about your day and anything he could do to make it better. He means what he says in his messages, and you can always feel there is something more to them than mere words.

Good texting habits involve remembering previous texts and sometimes referring to them. Sometimes you need to send some cute photos and videos to liven up you loved one’s day.

If you are engaged in any way, it’s always good to let the other person know. And when you are free, you should also let them know.

These habits enable her to develop feelings for you. You don’t want the relationship to end with texting but to convert it into something bigger.

A bad texter is the opposite. And chances are, she will not want to hear from you anymore because she can already tell what your stand on texting is.

Texting someone sporadically and in brief sentences or one-word answers does not paint a very nice picture. If anything, it makes her feel like she doesn’t matter very much. Soon enough, she will start withdrawing.

Also, bad texters use a lot of abbreviations and emojis. These habits can paint you negatively to your crush and might not get you the date.

6 Secrets of effective texters

Now that you understand the difference between good, effective, and bad texting, it’s time to look at the six secrets of highly effective texting.

If you are a bad texter, you don’t have to shy away from it. Consider it a challenge, and take your time to learn from your mistakes.

They’re not obsessive

Texting all day every day can be quite fun in new relationships. It’s a great way to build the foundation necessary for a strong relationship.

However, it’s not sustainable. Also, it can be an indicator of codependence as opposed to actual interest. If you are overly available, you don’t look good.

It is true that girls want attention: someone who is there for them at every given moment. But that does not mean you have to be texting non-stop.

This is one of the main red flags in relations.

Consider dating like dealing in consumer goods where demand increases with reduced supply. Sometimes manufacturers hide their goods to create a sense of scarcity, hence increasing demand.

It is the same in a relationship. You should be available, but you should not be too available. Remember you are looking for a relationship where both of you can enjoy each other’s company.

She may start wondering how bored and idle you must be to keep sending her text after text. Some people don’t even wait until they get a reply from the previous text, they go ahead and send another.

What are your hobbies and interests? What do you do for a living? Where are you right now?

These questions get boring after a while.

Such texters never have a topic instead sending random texts hoping to get it right. In the end they don’t even remember where it all started.

Effective texters know how to space their conversations. They will text in the morning to wish her a good day, in the afternoon to check on her, and in the evening to ask about her day. It’s always good to give her some time to live.

No one can deny that texting is a critical element to fostering a relationship. However, it creates a false type of attachment that is not there in a real sense. We need to figure this attachment out to know whether we are dating the right person or not.

You can become a better texter by understanding and respecting your partner’s space: “Give her space to breathe.”

They don’t lean on one side of the conversation

Have you ever been in a relationship where you are the only person who initiates a conversation? You should already know that it is not a healthy relationship for you.

If you stopped, you would realize they also go mute because you are the only one starting the conversation.

In this case, you will realize you are the only one sustaining and driving the relationship. If you stop messaging, the other person will ghost you.

Good texting habits involve both partners initiating the relationship in equal, or almost equal, amounts. You need to establish if she is truly into you, which is something you can observe from her reactions.

Also, note how they are responding to the conversation. It’s not good form to be texting her a novel, and having her only respond with “k” or “cool.”

Effective messaging calls for contributing to the conversation in equal amounts.

It is all about creating a healthy messaging habit, which leads to a healthy relationship.

You might be wasting your time on someone without knowing. Or perhaps they are just poor texters.

Their texts have emotional depth

We have already mentioned this in the previous sections. A good texter attaches some emotion to his texts.

In other words, his texts always make sense, and they come at the right time. For instance, he is always ready to ask the girl how her day was.

Every girl wants to have some sense of security and know that there is someone always looking out for them. Effective texting takes this consideration into effect, and it becomes one of the pillars for creating a lasting relationship.

Also, effective texting considers what the other person is feeling more than what is happening in their own life.

If you want a girl to feel safe around you, ask her more about her life, and try to offer solutions to her problems. Sometimes things are great in her life and other times that are not. She will not feel comfortable texting to tell you about it if you don’t ask. It will be very hard for her to confide in you about what is happening in her life.

Texting has a lot of functions. You can use it to make plans in real life. But above all, it can be a wonderful tool for getting to know someone.  

You can send them pictures while increasing the chemistry between the two of you. A healthy relationship is founded on good communication habits, in which texting plays a key role.

They question themselves before texting

Highly effective texters always ask themselves questions about their texts before sending them. Words can be very powerful in affecting how someone perceives people and life.

It is, therefore, always great for a texter to measure their words. Sometimes they will write something and then delete it several times, trying to establish the best version of every sentence.

Effective communication calls for one to put themselves into the shoes of the recipient. Remember that people interpret things differently, and you don’t want her to get you wrong.

Every little detail in a text matters. For instance, effective texters understand that texts look better when they are entirely written in lower case. They also don’t use too much punctuation.

Texting has to look as though you are speaking to the other person directly. And this means keeping it as casual as possible.

Sometimes things can get complicated. An effective texter will not want to text someone in a row, and they will wait for a certain amount of time before writing back.  

They are consistent

Consistency is a critical feature in developing a relationship with someone. It is crucial to hear from them consistently, which feels predictable and comfortable to everyone.

One person may choose to be texting several times a day. Another may feel comfortable doing it several times as well.

Do not leave her anticipating that feeling of “waiting for someone to call.” Do not make her feel anxious as it will frame the relationship as unhealthy. 

It would help if you gave her the confidence that you will always reach out to her no matter what you are doing. The last thing you want is her feeling insecure that perhaps you have something better to do than give her attention.

If you establish a healthy relationship, you will never keep looking over your shoulder and questioning if she is reading your texts or not. She will always be responding.

They are patient

Highly effective texters never argue in a text or send an angry message. As mentioned above, they are always considerate about what they should send and what not to send.

If there is anything to resolve that does not involve texting, they would rather ask the other person to meet. It is always the best way to find a solution to every issue.

Effective texters never send overlong messages. Doing so leaves you vulnerable to being misunderstood. Short and precise messages, being straight to the point, are easier to understand.


Texting has made things very easy for couples. Whether it’s your partner in life or your fling, you can use this approach to build a strong relationship.

However, not every text you send is good. These ideas aim to help you understand the impact of effective texting and how you can achieve it.

Rohit Raina
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