What if Kangana Ranaut Was a Man

Let me tell you a story about three Bollywood actors – Kapil, Aradhana, and Riya.

Disclaimer: This story imitates the real life events that took place between Kangana Ranaut and two male actors in Bollywood.)

Kapil is a National Award winner. Aradhana is a flop actor. And Riya is largely a star of masala films.

Story of Kapil and Aradhana

Years ago, Kapil and Aradhana were in a relationship. Both being actors, paparazzi was always onto them, sensationalizing every move they made. So they professed their love publicly, got cute pictures taken, denied the reports that their families did not approve, and meanwhile, worked on a couple of films together.

The relationship however was short-lived as few months later, they broke up. Both quietly went their separate ways, without making any fuss. Moving forward, Aradhana failed to get her career going while Kapil is on an award winning spree.

Just a year back, Aradhana came out in the open about their relationship. She wrote a long blog about her anguish while she was with Kapil. Explaining how Kapil physically and emotionally harassed her, she wrote that not only Kapil used to abuse her with the choicest of expletives, he also hit her a couple of times.

It didn’t end there though. Kapil somehow got hold of some menstrual blood and mixed it with Aradhana food. Aradhana even went on to claim that her ‘Pandit’ told her that Kapil is doing some black magic on her; nowhere did she mention that she believes so too. She just said, her Pandit told her so.

Of course, Aradhana had no proof of the physical and mental abuse she was subjected to. Did people go by her word? We’ll get to that later. For now, let’s move on to another story about Kapil.

Story of Kapil and Riya

Roughly 4 years after the breakup, Kapil had another ‘affair’ of sorts. As it turns out, the women he got in relationship with – Riya – refuted the rumors by saying that there were more chances of her getting involved with Pope than this man (As it turns out, Riya had recently gotten a divorce from her husband of 14 years) Next thing we know, both the parties have dragged each other to court. Here is the drama that ensued:

  • Riya accused Kapil of stalking her and leaked a bunch of 300 emails sent to her by Kapil over a period of a few months. Riya had not responded to even one of these, which was pretty apparent from the content of the emails. Kapil repeatedly wrote in his emails that he wonders if this relationship is just his imagination, because he never gets a reply from Riya.
  • Kapil also admitted having sent these 300 emails but claimed that Riya got his account hacked and deleted all the emails Riya replied with were deleted. But Kapil had an ace up his sleeve
  • A week later, Kapil came up with a startling “proof” of their relationship. A picture where Riya can be seen getting intimate with Kapil in private. With this, Kapil seemed to have put all the speculation to rest. But then, something else happened.
  • And then Riya’s ex-husband, who until this point was thought of as the casualty of this affair, a victim of Riya’s infedility, came out in the open and revealed that the said picture was morphed by Kapil and released the full picture which had someone else in the frame too, also releasing a dozen other pictures from the same party that was attended by a host of friends.

How the World Judged Kapil, Aradhana and Riya

Kapil, who by self-admission stalked a woman and morphed her pictures to prove their affair, is today hailed as the Champion of gender equality. Because why not! He is a man, after all. He gets invited to talk shows and the Barkha Dutts of the world cannot stop glorifying Kapil and gushing over how he has stood up to women in his lives, stalking them, morphing pictures and doing other valiant acts. He gets beautiful blogs written for him, gets credited as a crusader by Shobha Des of the world. Because, gender equality.

Aradhana has no identity today, and is only known as the girl who lied about Kapil abusing and hitting her all through their relationship. She is a woman and a flop actress, how could we possibly trust her word over the National Award winner Kapil! Alright, Kapil mixed menstrual blood in Aradhana’s food, but what’s the big deal? Menstrual blood is no taboo, it’s not impure, so what’s wrong if you are consuming it with your food?

As for Riya, she belongs to the 100-crore club. Kapil may have stalked her, morphed their picture to prove the affair, but why should it bother a privileged woman. Kapil is also a national award winner and is capable of saying beautiful things about feminism. Also, he can take on the powerful people, influential filmmakers and actors who happen to be guilty of encouraging and endorsing nepotism (essentially, they are arrogant enough to believe there’s nothing wrong with using your influence in the industry to help your friends and family so that they don’t have to struggle). These filmmakers and actors also make tasteless jokes which Kapil has the most befitting replies to.

So we burnt Riya on social media, in TV debates, in YouTube stand-ups. This commercially successful actress, star of shitty films, should be grateful that she was stalked by a National Award winner who morphed her pictures.

The flop actress Aradhana should have known better than accusing a famous man of physical and mental abuse.

Now, reverse the genders.

Rohit Raina

Rohit Raina

A writer by chance and leisurely on his way to become a writer by choice, Rohit is either ranting his ire out, or talking about the most inconsequential stuff around.
Rohit Raina
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One Response to What if Kangana Ranaut Was a Man

  1. DarkStar says:

    hahahahhaa loved it.

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