Dear Men, Never Ever…EVER!

Okay. I’ve been asked this hundreds of times, by guys. What do you women want in a man? And why are you women so biased towards some men and prejudiced towards others? And while I believe answers to such questions are highly subjective,most men tend to think that women have a ‘typical behaviour’ regarding men and evaluating them. So today let’s agree on that and take a look at some of the ‘typical behaviour’ shown by men that pisses women off. This list obviously doesn’t include the no-brainers like ‘listen when she talks’ or ‘smell good at all times’ or ‘don’t wear skinny jeans ever’. Look past the obvious here.

1. Hitting On Her Friend. Very Risky.

Never ever ever do this. It shows you in very poor light. And do remember, women talk. So by making a move on your “potential’s” friend, you’ve put your foot into an inviting trap. The friend will talk later to your “potential” about the move you made or the one she thought you did. So if you’ve flirted both ways, it basically means you’re desperate, not to be taken seriously and worthy of being dropped pronto. Of course you can turn this around and talk to her best friend about how much you like her. With women you can be assured, your word will reach the right target. But as far as inadvertent or even light flirting with friend goes, steer clear. Stay focused.

2. Whining. Very Unappealing.

PMS is a woman’s prerogative. So even if you are driving kilometres to fetch her or having a bad day at home with family, make sure you keep your whining short. Or better still, to yourself. Men who drone on and on about mothers, jobs, traffic, bosses, colleagues and the dabba are not considered good ‘dating material’. There, I said it. Now you can turn back and say ‘we’re only human, aren’t we?’. To which I’d say,’Yes, but so are we.”

3. Taking Ages To Place An Order In A Restaurant. Very Annoying.

It’s just a sign you’re not decisive. And that’s very, very annoying. I’ve been with men who make love to the menu card before ordering a beer. And like me, I’m sure most women, are wondering when you guys are going to make a choice and get on with the conversation. Whilst taking suggestions is polite, being decisive is sexy. So take a minute to order your drink, and not more than five minutes to order your food. It’s like a woman taking ages to emerge from the wash room. Rather uncool.

4. Hooking Her Up With Other Friends. Very Uncool.

Some of us take all this ‘let’s be friends first’ too far and start doing this entire ‘Hey, you should meet my friend, you’ll like her”. Believe me, I’ve heard it from a lot of women, they find it very very uncool. Firstly, you’re telling her you don’t really take her seriously or that your’e not worthy of her. And even if you aren’t, by talking about other men, you’re just boring her. She can go out with another guy, if she wants to. The fact that she’s out with you should tell you that you’re the one she wants to be out with. So quit trying to set her up. Step up to the challenge.

5. Being Unapologetically Non-Chivalrous. Very Avoidable.

Yeah, you chivalry-challenged lazy arse

I’ve heard a lot of conversations that go down right from the start. I mean which woman wants to sit and listen to a guy say “Don’t expect me to open doors or send flowers or call you ten times a day. I’m not that kind of guy” or “I don’t believe in all this love crap, I hate being bound by a relationship” or “Don’t expect me to compliment you on your looks and stuff like that”. You may not, but point is, don’t voice it so explicitly. For which woman wants to feel so mundane, right? We all know the truth about romance and men, just don’t burst the bubble so soon. I’m just saying.

I’ve been speaking to all my single friends and their suggestions are pouring in so fast, it’s tough to keep count. Most hate it when guys don’t take enough effort to know the girl. And pretend they are. Guys, I am saying it out loud. Asking ‘Whassup’ on a chat isn’t getting to know the girl well! And each time you say ‘let’s catch up some time’, the girl is obviously thinking you’re dithering.

And my last word on this, please, please avoid playing mind games. If you like her, tell her. Rather than say ‘My friend thinks you’re cute.’ Enough said, happy romancing!

Savita

Savita Nair is an advertising copywriter who lives and works in Mumbai. When she is not travelling, she is writing about all things seemingly superficial and inconsequential. She is also the author of 45 ml – a collection of irreverent poems on love, longing and living a life not-quite-so-ordinary.
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